How to Become a Paid Motivational Speaker

5 Steps to Having a Moneymaking Message 

In becoming a motivational speaker, I went from being a standup comic, flying coach, getting heckled, and sharing a Motel 6 to being a paid speaker, traveling first class, speaking to an appreciative audience, and staying in fancy hotels with spa soap. Rather than doing nine shows a week in a comedy club, I was now earning more doing just one speech.  

Speaking at Women's Health Event in Pensacola, Fl

In 2008, however, everything changed. When the recession hit, the motivational speaking market went downhill as companies could no longer justify hiring a pick-them-up, make-them-laugh speaker. Rather than entertainment, they needed someone with a message, someone who would deliver “take-aways” that improved efficiency, reduced sick days, and boosted their bottom line.

Seeing the writing on the podium, I switched from being a “lighten up humorist” to speaking on the topics of stress reduction and leadership. I continued to use my comedy material to keep the audience laughing, but added specific ACTION STEPS to make my points create lasting results. Developing these STEPS are essential if you want to have a moneymaking message as a motivational speaker.

In my online speaking workshop, students find these crucial action steps by examining their own “mess-to-success” journeys and taking advantage of the specifics that worked for them. Few thought to examine how they lost weight, conquered a depression, or started a business. They were so busy keeping up with LinkedIn and Facebook, they overlooked what they’d learned about overcoming a particular challenge. Getting in touch with those steps is the way to earn extra income as a speaker and can even transform into a book.

Here are some steps to help you find your Action Steps to become a motivation speaker:

This is excerpted from my book "The Message of You": 

1. Make a list of your successes.
2. Next to each, note your starting point, i.e., bad health, living with your parents, directionless, whatever.
3. Explain how you got from your “mess” to your “success.”
4. Find 3 things you did differently that worked. 
5. Give a name/label to those 3 things that got you to success as those are your Action Steps.

Watch free video lessons, get coaching, and join online workshops to find your message and become a paid motivational speaker.

https://themessageofyou.com

Message Marketing: 6 Essential Entrepreneurial Marketing Skills for Your Home-Based Business

Attend Free Online "Marketing Your Message" with Judy Carter

Thursday, August 4 - 6pm to 7pm (Pacific Time)

Register HERE. 

Yesterday, when I asked my neighbor’s kid if she could walk my dog, she directed me to her dog walking website, complete with client reviews, a message statement, customer testimonials, and pricing tiers. In the About section, I learned she is 10 years old.

Say what you will about Millennials, but today’s kids have more sophisticated message marketing skills than most Baby Boomers. Still, even if you aren’t a born entrepreneur, you can learn 6 essential skills necessary to earn extra income with your home-based business.

Why become an entrepreneur?

With company’s hiring fewer full time employees, careers like my father’s, who had one job for his entire life and retired at 55 years old with a lucrative pension, are few and far between. According to The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, the average person now has 12 jobs in his or her lifetime, and many of them are at the same time. If you want to afford a great lifestyle, it is necessary to be a self-starter and know how to maximize your earnings.

When starting a home-based business, BEFORE you hire someone to design your website, write copy, and handle the marketing, learn these 6 marketing skills:

1. Know your message. Your essential business message has to be front and center on your website. This is called Your Promise Statement which is a 5 to 7 word statement that conveys the results of someone using your service or product. That should go onto your website, form your social marketing campaign, and be reflected by your logo. http://themessageofyou.com/webinar-jane/

2. Get Google to Find You. Like the old adage goes, what good is a website if Google can’t find it? You can DIY SEO marketing to increase your online ranking without hiring an expensive expert.

3. Write Findable and Sizzling Web Copy.  Data driven websites are a bore. Communicate with clients using STORIES. There are 3 Essential Stories you have to have on your website.

4. Create a great demo video. Before you hire an expensive video production crew, assemble an authentic video that will connect with Millennials. A phone and selfie stick will be useful as you want to be authentic.

5. Connect with stories. Know your 3 Essential Business Stories that include: the story of your customers, the story of your business, and your own personal heart story.

6. Use public speaking to promote your business. Yes, speaking is scary, but there is no better marketing than a 12-minute TEDx talk to turn you into an International Expert.
Your message is your foundation to your marketing. To help you find your message and
other marketing skills, view free video lessons here. It all comes down to message
marketing.

3 Simple Steps to Get a Business Mentor for Free: Enroll Others in your Message

As a newly single person, I get excited when someone asks me out to dinner, especially when I hear, “I’m treating!”

“Wow, that’s promising. Someone really likes me!”

But, my enthusiasm is dampened when I hear: “I’m treating because I want to pick your brain.”

Now, at my age, I’m thrilled that anyone wants to pick a piece of my body, but my least favorite part to give away for free is my brain.  Isn’t that called intellectual prostitution?  I’m whoring my brain away for a fillet of Salmon.

I understand why I get approached this way. After all, I’m a former standup comic turned speaker and one of the few people who actually gets paid to do what I love – to stand in front of others to entertain and inspire. Most people who consult with me on improving their presentation skills want to learn how to quit their day job and get paid to speak.

I know that the comic or speaker who asks me out for a date has good intent, but there’s a better approach to get information, than offer a meal. It’s not like I have a sign on my door that says, “Will consult for food.”

After all, I’m sure you, just like I, have spent a lot of money filling your brain with marketable skills and professional know-how. We’ve gone to college, attended meetings, got CPU credits, not to mention years of therapy to correct a dysfunctional childhood so we can go days without Xanax.

And you want me to tell you how togged paid to speak for a slice of pizza?

Now, I DO give stuff away. But, it’s usually when someone approaches me with a MESSAGE that I believe in. Then I don’t even care about the meal. I WANT to help because the person has ENROLLED me in their message. They get a “piece of my mind” and a boatload of my talent when they offer me to be a part of something I believe in.

I have donated speeches to cancer, children, veterans as well as assisting with writing TED talks for discounted fees because I believe in the MESSAGE. That’s what happened when Muslim scholar, Dalia Mogahed asked me to write her TED talk which resulted in over 1.5 million views. Even though I'm not Muslim, I’m proud to be a part of her message of ending Islamophobia.

So, when you need help that you can’t afford, think about how you approach someone. Rather that paying them with paella, know how to enroll someone in your message.

3 Steps to Enroll a Business Mentor

1.  Describe your business without using these three words, “I” “My” “Me.” Rather, describe what you do in terms of the RESULTS you create for OTHERS.  
2. Identify the “Problems” your business solves. Another words, when Dalia Mogahed came to me, rather than telling me all about herself and the TED talk she wanted to do, she told me of her concerns about the stereotyping and discrimination of Muslims. Although not Muslim myself, I fully got onboard as I wanted to join her in making a difference.
3. Create a simple statement that contains the problem you want fixed, the audience your business addresses, your credentials to fix the problem, and the results you can create.

Master these simple 3 steps and you will not only enroll a business mentor, but interns, followers, and especially customers. Practice these three steps and use them to promote your business and even get paid to speak!

Get access to Judy by becoming a member of TheMessageofYou.com

6 Tips to Using Humor in the Workplace Without Losing Your Job

As a funny female business speaker, I gotta say-- Corporate America has truly become humor impaired. You know how it is; you’re in a meeting or hanging out in the office chatting with a co-worker. He makes a joke about an STD, which you find absolutely hysterical. And then, PANIC. What if his playful joke offended Susie Q from HR and you’re accused of workplace harassment and then you’ll get fired and your family will starve and you’ll all die!!! All because of this one joke!

As a humorist and corporate speaker, I punch up speeches that aren't going to be performed at a comedy club, but rather, at an 8 AM sobriety meeting. Goodbye swear words, references to God, and nipples. 

Here are the rules for joking in the workplace without getting HR on your… derriere. 

1. Don’t joke about other people’s religion, race, ethnicity, or sexuality. In other words, if your joke begins with, “A Jew, African American, and a gay man walk into a bar…” stop talking ASAP!

2. If somebody sends you a funny video that begins with NSFW— stop watching ASAP! It’s labeled ‘Not Safe For Work’ for a reason. Others can see the Game of Boobs video and will complain.

3. Play it safe and joke about yourself! Everybody else is already doing it, so join in on the self-mocking fun. That’s not a receding hairline – that’s a punch line. Although, careful not to poke fun at your muffin top while standing next to your overweight boss. She just might not appreciate it.

4. Be a "clean comedian." If you want to tell a few jokes while chatting to your coworkers in the break room, do have a collection of clean jokes memorized. That way, you won’t recite the joke you heard last night at the bar… “So there was this stripper and this pole and…”  Be sure to keep your jokes short. People are busy.

5. When you mess up or make a mistake and someone criticizes you, don’t get mad… get funny. How? By validating just how big of a jerk you are. You'll get laughs and keep your job.  A former student of mine recently wrote me that she used this very technique when a client criticized her work: “After reading this report your wrote, I can tell you're a complete idiot.” My student retorted, "Oh my God ('Gosh' in South Carolina), you're so smart! You figured out I was an idiot in just one minute!  It usually takes people three months to figure that out!” The client laughed. Tension gone. Account saved. 

6. But, do have snappy retorts when people say or do stupid things. Sometimes a great punch line is the best defense for an office heckler. For example, if someone is talking to me and staring at my chest, I'm going to say, "Hey buddy, if they talk back you can have them!" Zing! It makes the point without having to make it even weirder. 

(link is external)

47 Tips For Public Speaking

Attending the National Speakers Association 2015 Convention in Washington, D.C. I learned a lot a lot! To be exact - 47 tips on marketing your speech, youtube presence, SEO, and even what kind of camera to buy.

47 Tips on how to have a career as a professional speaker:

1. If you don’t have passion, you will give up. The speakers, entrepreneurs, and businesses that persevere are the ones that keep going when things get tough. -- Vern Harnish

2. Statistics show that our most productive time is when we’re over 50 years old. (I guess not having sex as much gives us time to get things done).

3. Have a short phrase (two to three words) that describes your business – a clear and concise tagline that will make you easily findable on Google. (Note to self – Nobody is looking for “hot whiny girls”). – Heather Lutze

4. Have a “Think Week.” Turn off your wifi, read, reflect, and take some time to think and brainstorm about your business. - Niels Brabandt

5. Write from 5:00-7:00 AM. After you’ve had your Think Week, you’ll be better prepared to focus on solving what is inhibiting your business from growing.

6. Mentor others. We learn when we teach.

7. Leaders are readers. Always be reading a book to improve yourself.

8. When networking, a good conversation starter is, “What’s on your reading list?”

9. Make a list of the top twenty five people you need to know to help further your career and reach out to them.

10. Never eat alone in front of the computer. Use mealtimes to go out and connect with people on your list ala Don Draper.

11. Figure out what makes you an expert in your field and own it. Lead with your strengths, and others will follow.

12. When going to speak for a client – text them a video from the airport about how excited you are to speak to them. They love this!

13. A professional speaker can’t speak to every sector. Figure out who is your target audience and market to them. (I.e. techies, nurses, engineers, bankers, farmers…). 

14. Be conscious of your marketing success/failures— keep a whiteboard in your office and track your daily sales numbers. 

15. Know your Message. If you don’t know it now, keep a journal of the lessons you’ve learned in life that play over and over again— And that’s The Message of You(link is external). (See Number 5 on developing your Heart Story). 

16. Before telling clients what your speaking fee is, get them to tell you about their event. Then, email them with information on what you can do for them with three different pricing options.

17. Have three options for your price offerings: Basic, Deluxe and Premium. Direct them to the sweet spot in the middle.

18. Make the Premium Package crazy expensive. If they want it, but can’t afford it, ask them what element they want from the Premium Package and add a fee to the Deluxe Package. 

19. Create at least five videos per month for your YouTube channel. Make sure to provide plenty of great information for your followers.

20. When making a YouTube video, adjust your voice as if you are speaking to just one person.

21. Your website should contain your core message.

22. Use Google Keyword Planner to figure out how people are searching for your website.

23. Everyone needs a career coach – reach out to an influencer.

24.  Label your images with your keywords (i.e. HealthcareHumorist.jpg) so they have a higher chance of showing up in a Google search.

25. Phrases where only thirty people a month are searching for with low competition are good because they have a high conversion rate.

26. Find out which keywords your competitors are using. That’s right – spy on them.

27. Keywords should be in the first sentence and last sentences of your website, blogs, and bio.

28. Hire people slowly and fire them quickly. 

29. Happiness levels at work increase profitability. 

30. Humor in the workplace increases productivity.

31. Gather the stories of your family. Once they die, the library of your life is closed.

32. The average viewer only spends 36 seconds watching a YouTube video, so your video should have a compelling beginning.

33. But, the first three seconds are most important. Make sure your audience knows what they are going to get out of watching your video. This is your CALL TO ACTION— be sure to remind your viewers to comment, share, and subscribe.

34. Rather than your phone, use this camera(link is external) to record videos as it has great sound and picture. 

35. Always carry a portable tripod(link is external) with you for gigs. 

36. A good marketing strategy is to send out four different emails to see which one gets the best response.

37. When sending out a demo reel, give clients choices: a short, five-minute promo and, if they want to see your entire speech, provide a full one-hour reel.

38. Establish yourself as an expert by hosting online training courses. You can set that up via Udemy(link is external).

39. Use music in your YouTube videos. (MorgueFile.com (link is external)is a great site for copyright-free music). 

40. Bring your camera everywhere— conduct interviews with experts as you meet them and add the videos to your YouTube channel.

41. Always end your YouTube videos with a teaser for your next video.

42. Create title templates using Flixpress(link is external). 

43. Video testimonials are essential for business (and remember to always get a release form!)

44. Video proposals are awesome.

45. Prior to speaking, film a YouTube trailer to promote your upcoming speech or program.

46. Be sure to add SEO phrases in the description of every YouTube video (i.e. sales technology speaker).

47. Rather than just providing a YouTube link, upload videos directly to Facebook so it plays instantly— people like that better.

Turning Life’s Messes Into Successes

Yesterday, I went boogie boarding with a friend, my credit cards and all our money tucked into a new, waterproof fanny pack. That’s right a one-piece suit, SPF 30 slathered body and fanny pack – hot!  After catching a fantastic wave and riding it to shore, I discovered the fanny pack hadn’t made it. It was dinner time and I had no money. A few miles from home, we were hungry, sandy, and broke. No Uber for us.

Source: cc-by-2.0

At first I panicked, but as we began our journey home, we stumbled a walkway with gorgeous gardens. Though I’ve lived in Venice Beach for 20 years, I had never known about this incredible street. Some people we ran into told us about their cats, their families, and their lives. Normally, I’m in a rush and this would annoy me. But tonight, I made new friends in the neighborhood that I can borrow stuff from. Then it got even better -- the fancy hot dog stand gave us free samples!  We got thirsty and since it was on 7/11 – 7/11 was giving out free Slushies! Free! What had been a mess turned into a wonderful life affirming adventure. Plus there was extra exercise. In addition to losing money, I lost weight!

As I wrote in my book, “The Message of You,(link is external)” you can’t spell MESSAGE without a MESS. Yet again, I was reminded that when life doesn’t go the way I want it to, there’s often a gift.

A few years ago, while recording my book for Audible, I stumbled over a word and flashed back to the embarrassment of having a speech impediment as a child. I was almost in tears as the director took me aside and told me, “Last week there was somebody very famous here recording his book. The three days it should have taken took him two weeks. Why?  Because he had such a severe speech impediment we had to do it over and over and over and over. That man's name is James Earl Jones.”

I asked, "What?  Darth Vader!  The voice of CNN?  A man who makes a living by his voice can't speak?" 

"Yes, he didn't speak until he was eight. Because of his speaking problem, we kept redoing it until it was perfect.”

I couldn’t believe it.

Then, he said something very wise, "Judy, we're not successful in spite of the messes in our life.  It's because of them.  If you didn't have a problem speaking, you wouldn’t have put so much effort into it and become a professional speaker. You wouldn't have to work so hard." 

He’s right. Think about it. Some of our most successful people overcame difficult beginnings. The reason he created the happiest place on earth was probably because Walt Disney grew up in an alcoholic, abusive home.  Steve Jobs was adopted, disconnected from his family, and created gadgets that connect us all. Anybody notice that Dr. Phil, who wrote the bestselling book on weight loss, looks a little chubby?” I’m guessing his next book will be "Hair Care Tips for Men.” Or am I thinking of Donald Trump?  

OK… a little humor, but the point is if we refuse to let the messes define us, we can use them to our advantage. Your MESSage is in that story of your journey from mess to success.  When you tell THAT story, it’s The Message of You and lets everyone in on the meaning of your life.

Marketing Tips From A Few "Mad Men"

Last week we said goodbye to the hit series Mad Men, an inside look at the scandalous world of advertising in the 1960s -- featuring sex, smoking and drinking. Don Draper gave modern day entrepreneurs lessons on how to present messages that will captivate an audience. David Letterman covered some of the same territory more recently, but we’ll save that for another blog. 

Below are a few of the best marketing take-aways from Mad Men:

1. Find that story about the product. Stats and data are boring. Leave them to Pew and Nate Silver. What Don Draper did so successfully was tell a story that connects to people’s hearts, knowing that’s what they respond to. As he said, “YOU are the product. You have to feel something. That's what sells.” Don’s disturbing past – that he came from a poor, troubled family – allowed him to understand what ordinary people go through. He learned from his past that a story has to touch others. Keep that in mind on how you can turn your mess to a success.

2. Take your clients out. Tweeting is the one night stand of connecting. It’s not enough. Back in the 60s, they had to make a call on a land line and take a client out for dinner and as many drinks as it took to win them over. They didn’t count on emoticons and fast sells. When was the last time you had a meal with a client? It’s an excuse for fun and a dirty martini. 

3. Don’t wait to be invited or for something to happen. Be pro-active. In the final episode, we saw Joan passed over by the male hierarchy. She remained angry only long enough to register what happened, and then moved on to form her own company. I’d like to say that sexism ended twenty years ago, but I won’t lie to you, especially as you flip through the channels looking for a female talk show host to replace the guys. I’ve ranted about this here.

We can learn from women. Like Joan, comic Kathy Griffin wasn’t satisfied by what was being offered to her (more accurately, what wasn’t) so she started her own room and told her stories with such great humor. She celebrated being on the D-list, turning that mess into a successful career. Put on your walking shoes and take your cues from women, as well as from men. The world can be your stage. If you don’t believe me, Shakespeare said it too.

Want to develop your message? Speak? Or just be funnier?

Come to a Judy Carter workshop in LA, SF, and Chicago. Info Here.

6 Steps to Writing an Hour Speech in 48 Hours

So, you’ve got to give a presentation and you do what most people do—procrastinate. Right? I’m a professional speaker and that means I’m a pro at putting off working on material. You know how it is. You’re busy binge-watching House of Cards and of course, you’ve got to organize your spice rack—even though all you have is Lawry’s Seasoned Salt. And all of a sudden: bam! That deadline you’ve had weeks to prepare for is two days away. 

Last week, I got a big gig and in big trouble. The good news: it was a repeat client. The bad news: it was a repeat client—meaning it would be the exact same audience. It’s one thing for Prince to sing "Purple Rain" over and over again, but nobody tells a comic, “Do that joke about your grandmother and the sperm bank again.” (It's a good one, though.)

So, after a few panic attacks and martinis, it dawned on me—I wrote an entire book on writing speeches. I cracked it open, followed my own advice, and ended up writing a hit speech! (But let’s hope the client doesn't ask me back for a third time because I can’t handle the amount of Weight Watcher points in a Cucumber-Mint Martini. (Delicious. Ask me for the recipe.)

Here are the six steps to writing a great speech in a pinch:

1. Open with a story about a member of the audience. One of the WORST openings is, “Let me tell you a little bit about myself.” Boring! Who cares? Find out who will be attending and call them up so they can give you insider information about their favorite topic: themselves! Everyone loves a great story about THEMSELVES.

2. Tell them the promise of your speech, guaranteeing that they’ll leave learning stuff that will help them make more money, get healthier, or have better relationships. 

3. Establish your credibility by telling a story about how your techniques helped someone become happier, richer, healthier, sexier. Be as humble as you want out there in the real world, but on stage, don’t shy away from shameless self-promotion. Name drop that time you shared the platform with Hillary—unless you're speaking at a Tea Party event. Refer to your published works. “I remember this one time while having lunch with Oprah…” Again, unless you're at a Tea Party event. 

4. Guide them with your fab action steps. Give specific advice on how they can move forward. Give three tips and tell a story about how you discovered each of them and why they work. Any more than three steps means you’re writing the Unabomber manifesto. 

5. Give an emotional heartfelt story. Even if you are a techie talking about computer programming, you need to reveal something about yourself. Tell them that emotional story about how your first kiss lead to discovering PHP programming. 

6. Leave them with a call-to-action. In corporate speak, this is called "The Take-Aways." Give the audience a simple command to get their sh*t together. Don’t get too long winded with homework, but ask them to “imagine,” “think about…,” or “buy your book at the back of the room!”

Give your speech, sell your products, go home, and enjoy that drink. You deserve it! 

Get a free MP3 of How to Make Money from Speaking at Judycarter.com(link is external)

Join Judy at her NYC Workshop to discover The Message of You on May 2 - 3. More info(link is external). 

Entrepreneurs: 8 Tips for Telling Your Hero Story

If you are an entrepreneur, a salesperson, a comic, or a speaker, there is a story that you need to know and tell.  It's the story that will engage your audience, make them laugh, and motivate them to buy your products and services. What is this amazing story? It is the story of why what you do isn't just a job... but a calling. It is your HERO STORY. Read more on Psychology Today... 

3 Speaking Tips From Oscar Winners: Legendary speeches at Oscars 2015

Were the Oscars taken over by motivational speakers this year?  Is John Legend the next Tony Robbins? Judging by the results, it certainly seems so.

Rather than giving mindless thank yous, this year’s winners shared MESSAGES. You can change the world in less than one minute, and speakers can definitely learn a thing or two from this.

TIP ONE: Have a call-to-action – A call-to-action is an instruction to the audience to do something. At the end of J.K. Simmons’ emotional acceptance speech, he told the 1 billion plus people watching, “Go call your parents… If you’re lucky enough to have a parent or two alive, call them! Don’t text. Don’t email. Call them! Listen to them for as long as they want to talk to you."  Now that’s a powerful call-to-action!

TIP TWO:  Have a point of view – Several winners used their time at the podium to share their feelings on different issues.  Patricia Arquette spoke out for feminism when she declared: “It's our time to have wage equality” as she accepted her Oscar for Boyhood.

Reese Witherspoon echoed my blog “Don’t Waste your Red Carpet Time” (link is external)when she called out Hollywood for ignoring real issues in favor of chat about dresses as part of the #askhermore campaign.

John Legend, who won for Best Song, made a strong statement. “Selma is now because the struggle for justice is right now… We live in the most incarcerated country in the world. There are more black men under correctional control today then were under slavery in 1850.” Wow! I had tears in my eyes.

Best Actor Eddie Redmayne (The Theory of Everything) spoke about ALS while Best Actress Julianne Moore (Still Alice) used her time to talk about Alzheimer's.Birdman director Alejandro Gonzalez Iñárritu called for respect for Mexican immigrants during his acceptance speech. “We are with you, we see you, we love you, and march on.”

TIP THREE: Reveal your own journey from mess to success.  Perhaps no one gave a more powerful speech than Graham Moore, who won the Best Adapted Screenplay Oscar for The Imitation Game. He used his time at the podium to give a highly personal speech about suicide awareness and depression. "I tried to commit suicide at 16, and now I'm standing here," he said. "I would like for this moment to be for that kid out there who feels like she doesn’t fit in anywhere. You do. Stay weird. Stay different, and then when it's your turn and you are standing on this stage, please pass the same message along."

Wow! It’s been a long time since the Oscars speeches were as substantial and motivational as this.  Hooray for Hollywood!

Download "How to Get Booked on Talk Shows" TeleSeminar for tools and tips with Gina Rubinstein and Judy Carter.

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Business Lessons Learned From 50 Shades of Grey

How I stopped being a SLAVE in life and empowered my relationships.     

A friend asked me if I wanted to go see 50 Shades of Grey. On my only free night recovering from a long work week, the LAST thing I want to see is seeing a woman dominated by someone. After all, as an entrepreneur, every day feels as if I’m tied to my computer, whipped by chores, pained by computer glitches, and brought to my knees by the volume of emails—each one screaming me into submission. Why would I pay to see that?

Source: CC BY 2.0

What I long for is to be the one on top of someTHING, which is sometimes better than being on top of someONE. I would like to dominate my inbox, get control of my escalating waistline, or maybe humiliate my dogs to stop peeing on my carpet. My wish is to be the alpha female, which I haven’t accomplished despite several rounds of obedience training. I can’t get my dog to heel or the people who work for me to do what I want, and I’m their boss. I can’t whip anyone into shape.

But, as I ranted to my friend of why I’m not interested in seeing a movie about S&M, I remembered a time, long ago in my 30s, when I was propositioned to enter into an S&M relationship and become a slave. No joke!

Because you don’t know me—picture Jewish girl, president of the 7th grade tropical fish club and 8th grade safety monitor.

Me a slave? This seemed a huge safety violation. I was a nerd. But, I was curious as I asked, “So… how does this work… this slavery thing?”

“Well… we all agree on what is going to be done, and then there is a word we decide on if someone wants to stop.”

And I thought, “OMG! You mean you actually listen and respect someone’s boundaries?”

After all, at that time in my life, I had let both men and women do things to me that I didn’t like, and I didn’t say anything to stop it. Even when my primary care physician inappropriately fondled me—I didn’t say anything. I just sat there frozen wondering, why he had to examine my breasts so thoroughly when I only had a cold?

“What kind of word,” I asked.

“Like ‘Blueberry.’ And this will be in the contract we would write together.”

“Contract? Write together?” I said, “You mean that we would actually communicate what we both want and write it down… with no attorney fees?”

“Yes! These contracts would include what we both expected of each other; what annoys you, such as hair in sink, how often we would have sessions, and a final list of offenses and the agreed upon punishment for each offense. Each offense will have a minimum and maximum number of strokes and a force level associated with it.”

I thought, “Wow! How conscious is this?” I mean, aside from the bruising of ropes, whips, and chains, I usually have been unable to tell someone what I want, yet, just like most women, I’m disappointed if I don’t get what I want. Don’t most women expect our partners to be working psychics?

And… I actually liked the idea of a defined punishment—just six slashes, and it’s over. This seems much better than someone dwelling on something I had done and punishing me for years and bringing it up in front of my business clients at a fancy party.   

I never did enter into that S&M contract. Black is not my color, and pain is not my pleasure. But, it did change me and help me to have better relationships. In future relationships, I got more in tune with my partners as well as asking directly for what I wanted and didn’t want.

“Judy—I need you to pick me up at the airport.” 

“Blueberry!”

I'd like to know—would you ever enter into a relationship like this?

Story-Telling Workshops with Judy(link is external)

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Jobs in Show Business: Tips for a Career in Entertainment

The facts are grim for those hoping to break into showbiz. It was while I was on a panel called “Building Your Empire” for the SAG/AFTRA Conservatory that I found out ONLY 10% of actors who are in the union are working. Wait, I’m not done. Only 10% of those who are working are ABOVE THE POVERTY LEVEL. That’s good to know before you quit your day job.  Afterwards they provided food. It must have been a nice change for the participants not to be serving it.

SAG/AFTRA Panel "Building Your Empire"
(L to R) Scott David (CD for Criminal Minds, founder of The Actors Link),

 Ajay Jahveri (Argentum Photos),  

Jamison Reeves (writer, actor, producer, director),  

Judy Carter, (Goddess)  

Lee Garlington (actor, writer, career coach, phenomenal moderator),  

Gary Marsh (founder of Breakdown Services)

Fledgling actors in the audience were asking, “How do I get an agent?”

Well, if you’re just getting over the fact that getting into the SAG/AFTRA union wasn’t your ticket to buying a condo in Brentwood, wait until you see what happens when you sign with an agent.  I’ve been represented by ICM, William Morris Agency, Gersh Agency, 5 different commercial agents, 3 different managers, and have worked with over 15 speakers bureaus.  I once named my dog “Bernie,” after my agent Bernie, because when I called either of them, they didn’t do anything. An actor friend told me he came off stage one night and was approached by a commercial agent, who said, “I’d like to handle you.” That would have been flattering except the guy WAS his agent. 

This year has been one of my most successful yet. I've shot 2 television pilots, my screenplay is being read by producers, I have regular speaking engagements, and I do not have ANY exclusive representation except for my lovely literary agent and a few speaker bureaus.

If you’re like me, you might make the mistake of thinking because you’ve signed with an agent, you can slack off. That’s their job; they often slack off once you’ve signed the agency agreement.

Here’s my plan for BOOSTING YOUR CAREER and BUILDING YOUR OWN EMPIRE:

1) Create a database. (CRM – Customer Relationship Management) When I was an 8 year-old magician performing at birthday parties, I kept every client’s name on an index card in a recipe box. I’ve moved up from a recipe box to a computer, where I file away everyone who has ever contacted me. Just like in Game of Thrones, the power is in the hands of how many people are in your army. Now, your power is in the number of followers you have in your database, on Twitter, on Facebook, and on YouTube. I use SugarCRM. You can use MailChimp, or here is a list of reviews http://www.reviews.com/crm-software/.

2) Provide your followers with value. They want to hear how you can help them. Give your fans something other than, “Come see my show!”  Email them about things THEY are interested in (don’t assume it’s you). Think of yourself as a first responder for THEIR needs.

3) Network by supporting other people.  After your day job, get out of the house, stay off the 405 and other roads that don’t move so you can talk to other comics, actors, writers, and participate in the community.  If you come to other people’s events, they just might come to yours (it’s not true for funerals).

4) Become a YOUTUBE  STAR. DIY your own projects on YouTube. Build your team to create your own projects and internet content. Join together with actors, writers, and directors to show what you can do. YouTube sensation Jenna Marbles has over 13 million subscribers and makes millions. GloZell turned herself into a star with her zany characters on YouTube. YouTube is the stage you want to be on.

5) Change your thinking. Getting a call and being cast in a network show is as unlikely as getting hit by lightning. Oh, wait, that just happened in Venice Beach! But, until I find a new metaphor, I’m holding onto it as it’s the best way to say you shouldn’t think that waiting to be discovered is a productive step. Be pro-active. DISCOVER YOURSELF. Network TV is yesterday. Think about YouTube, Netflix, Google TV, where new stars are being discovered online. The internet is the new casting couch – where you’ll get hits, instead of being hit on.

How to Use Storytelling to Promote Your Business

It’s been shown that people respond to stories – not data. 

When information is put into a story that elicits an emotional response, it has more impact. That’s why companies go beyond product placement, preferring to have their products be part of the story on successful TV shows. On “Modern Family” an entire episode revolved around TV dad, Phil, wanting to get an iPad for his birthday. The show aired two days prior to the release of the iPad. We all related to Phil’s pursuit of the uber-cool iPad, surely a factor in it becoming the “I’ve-got-to-have-it” product of the year. It cost the company nothing and Apple got a formidable amount of bites.

Note to Apple: Send Judy Carter an iPad and she’ll work you into her life story.

Stories are a powerful tool for marketing your products. And you need not be Apple to use them.  As a motivational speaker, my Back of the Room (BOR) sales exploded when, rather than simply announcing that I would be SELLING my book, I told a STORY about my book.

Marketing Through Storytelling

Basic Story Structure is this -- a hero starts with a MESS and ends in SUCCESS. It may not be the success he or she had in mind, but in all effective stories, our hero learns something and benefits.

The story of my first book, Stand-Up Comedy: The Book starts with how I lost my way after my mom died. I quit working comedy clubs and wrote a book on how to do stand-up. It was widely read – by 59 book agents, all of whom rejected it. The story got more miserable as I made one last attempt to get a role on a sitcom and found out at the airport that the flight I’d booked to get to the audition had been cancelled. Watching a long line of angry people mouthing off at the United Airlines agent, I made a choice to express compassion and appreciation. As I say in my speech on “Laughing Your Way out of Stress:”

“No one can MAKE you angry. Someone can MAKE you a Daiquiri. Someone can MAKE you pregnant… in that order. But, no one can MAKE you angry. You can MAKE a humor choice.”

Because I connected with the gate attendant and gave him the only laugh he probably had that day, he put me in First Class. As I was unfolding my linen napkin, I found out I was sitting next to a literary agent, one of the few who HADN’T rejected me. She offered to read my book. Random House liked it. So did Oprah. The rest is history. The sitcom I never auditioned for was “Go Bananas.” It didn’t go anywhere, but my career did. I became a best-selling author with a speaking career.

That’s when I hold up my book, and now it’s no longer just a book, but a success story that they want to be a part of.

What is the STORY of your book, your song, your last job? Get a handle on your story and make yourself memorable! Sorry, you can’t use the Apple logo; you’ll have to get your own.