You’ll almost always hit a home run we you communicate an understanding of other people’s needs – instead of your own. But -- it’s a skill that you have to practice and develop.
Here's an exercise to help you practice connecting with all the audiences of your life:
When you meet someone new in the course of your daily life, find something to say to them that shows that you understand a detail of what their life is like. For instance, today as I paid my parking in an underground parking lot, I said to the attendant, “It must be hard for you to get a tan!”
I got a laugh -- and the attendant felt “seen” – as opposed to being treated as almost invisible.
I said to the counter person working at Baskin Robbins, “Is your right hand more muscular than the left because that's the one you scoop with?”
She smiles -- and we make a connection.
To my dentist, I say, “It must be hard having a job where you cause so much pain...” And we connect.
Make an effort to understand – and care about – the problems of the audiences of your life -- and then be prepared for amazing results.